not good enough..

I ask myself everyday, am I thin enough now?
And only I can answer myself, because only I am allowed to question myself.
I'm good, real good, but not good enough for nobody but me.
I want to have sex with myself to see how attractive and pleasing I can be. Cannot give my trust to anyone because we all let down and I don't want to get hurt anymore.
But it hurts to just look at yourself knowing you're not that worthy. Maybe the outsides are just a great distraction for what runs in our veins, not to ever deal with our inner complex. Open our mind box, which we keep so dear to have control.
Don't let go of control.

I find myself now-days complaining over the little things. I'm only safe in my bed, surrounded by my very own sins. I want to believe in a complete human being, if there is such a thing. Make it to your favourite list of faces, because every of my alter egos are me. One that can be all and nothing at the same.
I accept all of them,. It doesn't go the other way. But then again, will you accept me without my makeup and masks?
Am I thin enough for you?